I think blogging is really an effective way to talk when you dont know who to talk to about your problems and well...sometimes you just wanna let it out, tell someone, if anyone, how you really feel.
Well, i hope someone sees this, then again, i hope no one does.
anyway, i really wanna write songs but i cant seem to find out why i cant.
it's like something's been sucked out of my life.
yep. feeling pretty down right now.
not in the best shape.
i really really wanna be selfish and say that everything's about me, but then again,
it's not about me. im not that great of a person anyway.
i'd probably not know what someone truely thinks about me.
whether they actually like me, or whether they're actually faking it.
sometimes they're nice to me, and then the next they're not.
they just leave without telling me the problem.
then the next moment, come back like everything's fine.
i really hate the inconsistancy.
it feels like part of me isnt ok.
anyway, i just want to get whatever confirmation i can get.
i dont wanna be in confusion, trying to guess all the time.
maybe, just maybe, im alittle tired of it all.
sure, i can say "but life's like that!"
but no. im betting life's more than that.
life's more than just sorrow.
see that? it's me talking out of my situation.
wish i could give myself better advice.
i really do hope things get better in time.
(it usually does, thank God. it's always these short-term times where i feel an urge to pen down my thoughts to this sleeping world i write to. but yes, it does make me feel better, nonetheless.)
I'll be positive in the morning. :)
Saturday, September 4, 2010
wow.. its been ages since ive written here..
anyway, im doing this to kill time..
it's 1:07 now.
sometimes i wish we dont have to sleep.
like fish.
which is wrong in two ways because...
1. it contradicts with the idiom, 'sleeping with the fishes'
and as you all know,
in death, sleep is most certainly unavoidable.
and
2. fishes sleep. just with their eyes open.
how do they do that? you ask.
i dont know.
i dont know.
anyway. just to sidetrack alittle,
i think i need to catch up with the world.
it seems that they've left without saying goodbye.
4''33' is playing in the room.
buzzing of the computer.
typing sounds of the keyboard (with occasional pauses)
and non existant traffic outside.
with alittle bit of train in it.
im really bored. can you tell?
i need to have a normal conversation with people.
just a good nice talk over starbucks coffee or something.
im gunna shoot a film after my olevels. im still deciding on the actors though, was thinking of trudy and sheng yuan. still weighing my options.
but of course, they're awesome to help me out with this.
im gunna try doing something now.
It's the silence alright. He loved the silence.
It's not like i dont like silence.
i do.
that way, i can look at him alittle longer than usual.
sometimes i wonder what he's thinking about.
sometimes i fear.
ever so slight his movements are to tell me his dissatisfaction.
He's perfect, i say.
He didnt need to change.
but he would'nt listen.
at least, not to me.
not to someone he doesnt notice.
sometimes i think all he ever cares about is himself.
but that doesnt matter to me.
as long as he keeps looking at me the way i look at him
as long as he i can see him smile.
sometimes i see him dance.
sometimes i see him tryping ferociously.
sometimes, it's like i can feel his presence ever so close.
like he was there.
His tears.
oh,so heavy.
like a down pour,
little water droplets trickle down his face, drenched with sorrow.
i wish i could reach out to him.
go to him
and scream out
im always here with you
...but i cant.
not now. not ever.
it's like im trapped between this glass barrier
with him standing on the other side.
helpless is the word.
i dont see him anymore.
i dont just see...him.
theres another one now.
he smiles, she smiles.
i can feel myself cracking alittle inside.
silence doesnt fill the room anymore.
now, noises.
the moments we shared were the most intimate.
now it's shared by three.
suddenly exposed to the reality.
i know it is inevitable to avoid the truth.
tears shed were meant for someone else to look at.
smiles...
i dont want to think about it.
He broke me.
i know it's not on purpose.
i know he hadnt meant it.
i never expected it to end this way.
but it did.
and now, im shattered beyond repair.
yep. it's done! :)
the narrator, is actually, a mirror.
but more than that, it reveals a painful part of a one sided love.
we've all experienced that. we've all been broken.
i would like to thank wongfu productions ( check them out, they're just fantastic.) and shinkai makoto for the inspiration. it's because of them in the first place i started to write this. (getting a taste of their styles)
they're both just incrediable stories.
anyway, its already 2. i need my beauty sleep now.
you've been amazing, sitting here, reading this.
:)
thanks for hearing me out! :)
*love*
-Grace :)
at
Saturday, June 5, 2010
HI! i cant sleep! ): its bad. i know. but im thinking too much and i think blogging might help. :)
sometimes when i read other people's blog, i would wanna blog too! idk. blogging is contagious.
anyway. i dont quite know what to write... :)
nvm! i shall write encouragement! :)
you're like a caterpillar hibernating in a cacoon.
but when youre in your fullest confidence, you'll emerge into a butterfly.
a stunningly increadibly beautiful one,
with the bright bold colours and all.
and many people would wanna grab a hold of you,
they'd wanna hunt you down and enclose you and keep you in a stuffy air tight jar.
every waking moment would be tourture and torment, like you dont have enough air to breathe like that (which is true in that case. its not called an air tight jar for nothing, you know.)
your world would only be viewed from a glass divider,
and all that you ever hoped and dream of would be crushed.
ok after letting you read this, i think i have driven you to become 1.an amazingly positive person who inspite of all these, can see an upside in the situation, or 2. aperson who suffers from depression and would wanna commit sucide now.
what im trying to say is that, can you find an upside to this? can you be optimistic enough to see beyond your glass divider?
Apostle Paul was an increadiably optimistic person, who was a super fan of God.
inspite being in a prison,he praised God!
what was the outcome?
the bible says the earth was shaken and the chains of the prisoners dropped to the floor and the prison doors flung open!
everybody was able to escape!
more than that, they escaped to eternity.
because out of that prison,out of that situation, they desperatly ran out from it.
every single prisoner did not run out without recieving their salvation that day.
Brazil. what is brazil famous for,besides their chocolates?
football!
heres an extract from the team captain of the brizillian soccer team after winning the FA cup.
dutch interviewer : why do you think that the dutch didnt win the FA cup?
Brazil captain : would you kneel down and praise God when you've lost?
dutch interviwer: of course not!
Brazil captain: that's why.
get my point?
well,
if you have,
luv, i can already hear your glass divider cracking. :)
at
Monday, February 8, 2010
An awesome friend of mine once told me, //HAPPINESS is joy despite of your problems
whereas,JOY is happiness inspite of your problems.
at
hi there! :D haha. i just wanna take the opportunity (whenever i can)
to tell you! (yes you!),how awesome you are! =)you viewing my blog makes me SMILEEEE!!!! :D hahaha.so no matter what you're facing through, rain or shine, sunny or cloudy,even with an after shower,
face the world and shout:''IM OKAYYYY!!!!!!! NOTHING CAN STOP ME FROM SMILING!!! NOTHING!!!!!!"then beam out with your brightest grin that you never knew you had, and tear out your clothes and run around in your undies! haha.
i was only kidding. please dont do this in public! (:>
but you're allowed to cry your heart out after that!(only if you're really really sad)remember!
when all else fails and your sky lacks a rainbow, look up beyond the clouds and know that there is someone up there that is willing to give you the sun! =)
whether i know you or dont,
i.would.wanna.be.there.for.you.
so now having said that, you can't say that there's not a single person on this face of the earth that doesnt care for you.
hahaha. =)
well, if not me, then Jesus. (which, in my opinion, is a wayyy better alternative.)
=)
peaceouttuppl. hahaha. =)
ps: i miss you karina! (even tho you cant see this! )
at
Saturday, January 30, 2010
*You
make
me
forget
how
to
breathe. ♥*faints*
at
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
This is what breakthrough looks like.;The sun can see now.
at
